One bad break and you learn about the rules of sickness. The definition of sickness. Consider it a dry run for the final disease. The one that does you in.
And it’s not just a virus, it’s not just the terminal multiplication of cells. It’s misfortune. It’s the unexpected. It’s shame. Failure. And worst of all, it’s a reminder.
No one likes being reminded. They spend time and money to avoid confronting what they already know. The only thing inevitable is the end. If it hasn’t happened to you yet, it will. But, it can be put off. Pushed back.
It begins with the questions like there’s risk of contagion. Some rote sympathies at first, maybe. But it’s the questions that follow where standings become clear. How did it happen? Was it your fault? Surely you did something wrong. Could it happen to me? No, it couldn’t happen to me. You made a mistake. You deserved this. You make your own luck. Throw a little salt over the shoulder. Don’t step on cracks. Tell me it’s fine. Tell me I’m going to be fine.
Self-satisfied, the quarantine can begin. The calls stop coming. The inbox remains empty. You were alive. Then you were a mirror. Now you are dead.